Marie Elena's Party: FLUXX Fetish & Voyeur Re-Opening

So I write about three things like, ALL of the time: drinking, hot guys and my boss, Party Jeff.

However this week I realized I never write about my other boss Nadav. Which doesn't make any sense to me because just like Party Jeff, Nadav is an animal. But he's like some sort of philosophical drunk. Like, Nadav goes out, gets wasted, and then makes Facebook status updates that are pretty profound given his condition and whereabouts at the time.

It's almost like alcohol makes Nadav into some sort of drunken party guru. Seriously, he's like the Socrates of the Gaslamp. What drives me nuts is that almost nobody says anything about this – like it's totally normal. It is not normal to make creepy Confucius-esque statements after a night at Voyeur on your Facebook page. That shit is just weird. I'm not even going to mention the fact that he insists on wearing a size extra small tank top every time he goes out and gears up to enlighten us with his wisdom.

My bosses are just totally different drunk people. While, Party Jeff grabs the nearest broomstick and starts spanking the closest girl in the ass, Nadav is busy with his Droid updating his Facebook page with fortune cookie-like statements. So Nadav, this week’s column and these weekly picks are dedicated to you, the wisest and drunkest sage of downtown San Diego. Before I go into my picks for the week I'd like to share with you, some of his scholarly Facebook status updates. Consider yourself enlightened:

Nadav Wilf: Just touched down...tonight our destiny unfolds...life is glorious!

Commentary: I'm sorry. Your destiny unfolds? Where did you touch down, Narnia? Turns out it was Vegas. Nadav you are destined to lose a lot of money. Moving on…

Nadav Wilf: I went AWOL, but I'm back now...changed my life and my perspective on the future...def an experience not be missed next year...thanks friends.

Commentary: OK I went to AWOL too and it didn't change my life or my perspective on the future. In fact the only thing I learned was that my entire company drinks way too much and that I basically suck at getting any action south of the border. A life and future changing trip in Mexico? Glad you enjoyed your spiritual journey mi amigo – but I think you were just drunk.

Nadav Wilf: God...is that you?

Commentary: No, it's not. That's a wig, an empty magnum of Veuve, a stuffed sheep wearing a condom, and a black stiletto. Halleluiah.

Nadav Wilf: Don't be afraid to feel what u feel...if you accept and understand it you can feel good even when u feel bad :)

Commentary: What’s that now? Accept something? Feeling good? Let me say one thing: when I feel bad, I don't feel good. That’s why it's called "feeling bad" - this is just basically gibberish.

Nadav Wilf: Smile at the idea of the unknown :)

Commentary: I'm smiling at the stupid sentence. Now I'm smiling at Shayna. Then I just smiled at my laptop – I guess the idea of the unknown isn't at work today.

Nadav Wilf: I'm in the business of pleasure...life is good :)

Commentary: OK, Deuce Bigalow. I'm stopping right here. Gross.

OK my little apprentices of the soul, here is what I have lined up for the glorious life this weekend will have in store for the unknown.

Wednesday November 10th: Good fashion is in your future. Looking for the greatest and latest in fall fashion? Ready to get a head start on your holiday shopping? Head down to Syrah for the latest installment of "All Things Royale" – a fall shopping benefit for South Bay Community Services this Wednesday from 7-10pm, featuring mini boutiques, free beauty services, happy hour specials and more. Get details here.

After that, head over to Stingaree to check out their hot new Wednesday nights. This Wednesday they're bringing in Grammy award winning house DJ and producer Sharam. Confucius Say: To prevent hangover stay drunk. Get details here.

Thursday November 11th: The world may be your oyster, but it doesn't mean you'll get its pearl. This Thursday, the world is ours and we can not disclose the secret of life to you.  We'll be at a soft opening of epic proportions. Can you guess where we'll be?  Life is so wonderful when you know about soft openings that shall remain secret…

Friday November 12th: Have you been a bad lambda lambda? I have. That’s why this Friday I am going to FLUXX for the sultry return of Fetish Fridays. Whips, handcuffs, leather... meow. What would Nadav say?  Probably: "you are one of the people who will go places." Yeah, places like FLUXX on Friday. Get details here.

Saturday November 13th: God? Is that you? Oh, no … it’s just Voyeur. I didn't recognize you. Why? Because our favorite electro-goth palace just got a makeover and you don't need Nadav to tell you that of course, DiscoverSD.com is hosting the Re-Opening Party this Saturday night with beats by Chris Lake. We're hooking you up with hosted cocktails from 9-10pm, plus no cover for DiscoverSD guest list before 10pm. Let the world be full of lights and music. RSVP now!

For your radar:

Thursday November 18th: Channel your inner yogi next Thursday at East Village's Wine Steals & Proper Gastropub for the DiscoverSD sponsored Unveiling of the Small Bites Menu from 6-10pm. We're hooking you up with hosted cocktails provided by Refine, happy hour specials all night, $1 pizza slices and much more. RSVP now!

Wednesday November 24th: Nice cans! No, I'm not complimenting your chest, I'm sure Party Jeff would though. I'm complimenting you for taking part of our 2nd Annual Thanksgiving Can Drive at Side Bar, featuring hosted cocktails from 8-9pm and no cover for anyone on the DiscoverSD guest list who brings at least 3 cans before 11pm. DJ sets by Scooter and gift bags for the first 50 attendees. RSVP now!

Thursday December 2nd: Heard rumors of an amazing new fetish inspired nightclub opening up downtown? Well, they're true. DiscoverSD is proud to bring you the Official Boudoir Grand Opening Party. Formerly the Jade Theater, this new hot spot has been completely redesigned and is poised to blow your panties off. Unfortunately, I am bound and gagged from giving away details, but it's amazing and sexually stimulating. Kind of sounds like me. Expect hosted cocktails from 9-10pm and no cover for DiscoverSD guest list before 10pm. Stay tuned for RSVP details!

OK well enough about me and what I'm doing this weekend. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?

xo Marie Elena

Oh wait, I forgot to post a creepy status update: I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.